I thought you were spending the evening with your sisters.

Ah. Here you are.

Cuthbert,

I am not opposed to ringing up the Archbishop of Canterbury if you continue to annoy me.

Severus

Cuthbert,

They had damned well better be irrelevant or I'll be calling an exorcist.

I meant that.

S.

Cuthbert,

I see. And I suppose I can trust you not to make copies of the records in said casket yourself, yes?

S.

Cuthbert,

I have no damned idea what the bloody hell you're on about.

As usual.

Severus

Cuthbert,

Please return the bronze casket formerly residing on the upper left shelf of my third bookcase. Jonathan Hadot has confessed--with a great deal of shouting on my part--that he nicked it on your orders. How on earth you enticed a Hufflepuff of all creatures to do something so bloody idiotic for you I've no idea, but do be certain I intend to note this incident in your personnel file.

Severus Snape
Headmaster
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

If you're going to come in, then come in, Scorpius. Stop hovering around the damned door.

Sit down, all of you. And do shut up or I'll chuck the entire lot of you out on your ears, whether or not you belong to me.

Merlin.

As you know, this late Sorting is highly irregular ten days into term, but given the circumstances....

*a sigh*

Where's that damned Hat?

Scorpius, don't touch that.

How many times have I said to replace the damned tea tin when it's empty?

I work with idiots. All of you.

Oh, good God, tell me you're not coming to lecture me on some obscure point of goblin history again.

Back so soon?

This is ridiculous...

DRACO. For God's sake, answer the Floo.

Is there something wrong at the flat?

Imogen, my arm is not a teething ring.

Honestly. How vile.

Charlie Weasley. What brings you here?

I assume you wish to escape from the little beasts as well? Or has the brutal sun driven you inside?

Wine?

You're late.